Good Friday

Greetings,

Good Friday has always been sad for me.  A day we focus on our loss and that of the disciples through the Passion of Jesus.  Growing up, it was a day we fasted even as children, we knew the day was different.  Here at the monastery the feeling deepened...a sense of sorrow for Christ whom I followed to our Benedictine life.

During our Good Friday silence, I took the opportunity to pray the Stations of the Cross or Sorrowful Way through our back lawn and cemetery.  I was struck by the same thought over and over as I progressed through the prayer...this is all about love.  Jesus love for us and our love for him.  

Jesus willingness to give all out of love for us in his accepting the cross.  The open exchange of love between Jesus and Mary on the road.  The desire of Jesus to offer love to the women who only desired to love him and Veronica's brave love to care for him on the road.  Even the falls were signs of love; what else could have given him the strength to rise again and again.  When Jesus had given his all for love of us, those who loved him continued the lessons of love.  Mary and faithful lovingly gathering his body from the cross.  Joseph and Nicodemus reach out in love through their tradition in the careful and tender burial of Jesus.  The expressions of love caught my heart as I continued down the Way.

So today is Good.  Yes, there is sorrow, but it is because we love.  Good Friday, a day to celebrate and comemmorate our gift of Love Himself.

Blessings,

Weary Lenten Traveler

Greetings,

I've all heard that Lent is a journey of faith, and I'm one weary traveler.  Worn out and tired from not only the spiritual journey and penances but also wrung out from the springtime demands of teaching.  It is a good weary, born from inspired struggle with the Lord and intellectual struggle with academics.

The readings at Mass as well as our continuous readings from Deuteronomy and Ezekiel during our Liturgy of the Hours have had a common focus for me...Do you see what you're doing?...Ah, the Lord inspiring me to struggle with the daily challenges of how I live who we are, who I am as a Benedictine Sister.  This hasn't led to a relaxing, laid back waiting for the Lord; instead, the journey has felt a bit like an uphill hike to get to Triduum.  All along the way, Christ has been calling me to shed the extra baggage, to let go of what is no longer needed.

My ministry has been developed into new demands as well this spring.  The curriculum is changing so new textbooks are needed, the accreditation board is looming and so rewriting of documents and protocol needs to happen, the students are strive academically and challenge me (in a good way) to keep learning-researching-discovering new ways to present the information.  All of this requires outside research, meetings for collaboration, and a willingness to simply keep learning. These are all amazing gifts, but 'whew,' this jog to keep up in the classroom has me a bit winded and ready to go home to the monastery.

Tomorrow, Triduum begins with all of our monastic traditions, Church liturgies, and sacred commemorations.  Tomorrow, I wake up in the monastery, home with my sisters to celebrate those mysteries central to our Faith called by the bells and my sisters to deeper prayer.  Tomorrow, the journey gives way to the destination and a place to rest with my community and our Lord.

Blessings,

Lent...Again

Greetings,

Lent has returned, again, just like these purple crocuses that pop up in the flower beds along the south lawn of our Monastery enclosure.  The Lenten season has always been a tough on for me.  It seems that I choose the same Lenten resolution every year and every year about half-way through Lent I realize how much 'work' I have to do to keep my resolution. 

Yes, yes, I know 'work' shouldn't be the word a 'Sister' uses for the practice of Lenten focus on Prayer, Fasting, and Almsgiving.  However, it is tough work to search the soul and see what is holding you back from better relationship with God, is the same thing that has been tugging at your shirt-tales for a lifetime.  Benedict advises his monks dedicate their life to Lenten living (RB 49)...maybe it's because it takes that long to truly bring about the desired change.
 
Although the life of a monk
ought to have about it at all times
the character of a Lenten observance,
yet since few have the virtue for that,
we therefore urge that during the actual days of Lent
the brethren keep their lives most pure
and at the same time wash away during these holy days
all the negligences of other times.
And this will be worthily done
if we restrain ourselves from all vices
and give ourselves up to prayer with tears,
to reading, to compunction of heart and to abstinence.

Even though I struggle with Lent, it is also my favorite liturgical season for prayer.  I grew up attending the Stations of the Cross and Frist Friday Adoration with a few family devotionals added into the mix.  The celebration of this all too human experiece of Jesus suffering was a facination to me as a child.  The readings from the Old and New Testaments used to tell the story always left me wondering...how could they not know who Jesus was?  After 14 years in the monastery, the Stations are still one of my 'go to' reflections during this season and I still ponder the same question; however, it has altered slightly...how could I not know who Jesus in my midst?

Blessings,

Greetings,

As the end of Lent begins to draw near and Holy Week approaches, I find myself thinking back to the time I was able to spend in our Benedictine study in Rome last summer. I keep returning to our time in St. Peter's Basilica and statue commemorating Veronica's compassionate care for Christ. It was always an image that captured my imagination while growing up, and to see her towering above the pilgrims with the sign of her gentle tending of Christ's needs unfurled before us all but took my breath away. I just wanted to share with you the Veronica that has been foremost in my thoughts as we journey through our Lent.

Joy and Sorrow

Greetings,

There is a mix of sorrow and joy as our elders grow old.

The joy is in their wisdom from a lived spiritual experience that spans many decades of peaks and valleys in community life as well as their own. Whether she is the baker, professor, or former prioress, her voice of experience of God's love can be both a challenge and a comfort. This is a joy I have grown to appreciate more and more. When I was away at university, I missed the wisdom from our elders and tradition...the sisters I was living with had good wisdom and offered support, but there is just something about our family way of helping each other.

The sorrow grows slowly as our elders grow old. During my last year at university, Sister Baker died and I felt the loss of my confidant and counselor. Now that my ministry is closer to home, I try to take advantage of the distance and visit more often. However, time marches on. Sister Professor doesn't always recognize me even though we have spent countless hours puzzling way at crosswords together and sharing stories of family, teaching, and prayer. Another Sister Professor has been slowly slipping away these past years and we miss her wisdom dearly. We care for them with tender love, wait with them for their Beloved, and cherish their presence while they remain.

There is a great joy in these wisdom figures, elders of our Benedictine family.
I cannot imagine our growth in learning to live in Obedience, Converstatio or Stability without them.

Blessings,

Ashes...

Greetings,

Tomorrow, I will be at home in the Monastery for Ash Wednesday and the beginning of our Lenten celebration. After being at school or university for the past many celebrations of this day, I am excited to be home as we settle into our Lenten observances. Yes, excited to be home for Wednesday soup night, morning silence, and the sisterly support of additional prayer and reflection. I'll even be home in time for the Mass we share with the college students and the Vesper's collection of the sisters personal observances for Lent.

Benedict had encouraged his monks to live their whole monastic life as a Lent; however, if it cannot be done, the monk was to consult with the Abbott about special offerings during this season of preparation. Reflection on chapter 49 from the Rule has lead me to ponder on my own "offering to God with the Joy of the Holy Spirit something of the measure required..." I have come to some conclusions of offerings of heart that I will pray will help me offer better service to God. When I return home to my convent apartment, I pray that we can discern some community Lenten observances to bring from the Monastery to convent to help each other continue to live this offering in the spirit of Benedict.

Blessings,

Hopefilled Lent

Greetings,

I enjoy the readings from Isaiah, but I usually associate his prophecy with Advent and not Lent. I was surprised at the Old Testament readings for today...surprised, but glad for it. "...see, I am doing something new."

In the midst of my Lenten reflections of repentance and forgiveness, God reminds me that it is not good to continually dwell on the past. He has conquered all that stands in our way and He wants me to go forward with Him. This might mean I have to set aside not only the sorrows of the past that hold me back, but also the successes that I continually turn to.

"...see, I am doing something new." Isaiah reminds me that I need to look forward with Christ as my guide. God's plans are not my plans, and they can be infinitely more interesting. This reading was a gift this morning since I've been brooding a bit about finding a new place to minister. I continue to seek a new teaching position so that I can serve both students and my sisters, but I cannot rely on my ideas alone, God too has a plan and I need to continue to seek what that might be.

"see, I am doing something new."

Favorite Parable

Greetings,

Today, my favorite parable was the Gospel at Mass; Luke's story of the Prodigal Son. The Gospel story allows for the earnest reader to reflective listener to place themselves within so many characters of the tale. There is something to be learned from each point of view and each time the parable is proclaimed.

This go around, I was struck at how the Father could see the son coming home in the distance. He must have been standing at the roadside everyday, waiting and hoping for his child's familiar shape to appear on the road; believing that one day he would appear and his child would be home. Do I wait with hope and faith for others on this road? Do I trust that God is waiting for me on that same road? Good questions for this fourth week of Lent.

Blessings,

Merton Reflection

Greetings,

I just want to share a few quotes from Thomas Merton via The Merton Institute's weekly e-mail reflections.

"Contemplation is also the response to a call: a call from Him Who has no voice, and yet Who speaks in everything that is, and Who, most of all, speaks in the depths of our own being: for we ourselves are words of His. But we are words that are meant to respond to Him, to answer to Him, to echo Him, and even in some way to contain Him and signify Him. Contemplation is this echo. "

"We ourselves become His echo and His answer. It is as if in creating us God asked a question and in awakening us to contemplation He answered the question, so that the contemplative is at the same time, question and answer."

New Seeds of Contemplation. (New York: New Directions Books 1961) p 3.

Blessings,

Happy Ash Wednesday!

Greetings,

Yes, a happy and blessed Ash Wednesday to you all! Happy? Yup, celebrate it! Not only are there folk at Mass that you haven't seen since last year around this time, there is also a richness of symbol that helps us all put our best foot forward during Lent. The readings that mark our Catholic and Benedictine journey throughout Lent are amazing stories of endurance from prophets like Jeremiah, Ezekiel and Jonah...not the most perky, but awesome reminders of God's persistent faithfulness to us in our wanderings.

Benedict referred to Lent off and on throughout his Rule, but chapter 49 is directed specifically to the Monk's (Nun's) celebration of the liturgical season.

"Although the life of a monk ought to have about it at all times the character of a Lenten observance, yet since few have the virtue for that, we therefore urge that during the actual days of Lent the brethren keep their lives most pure and at the same time wash away during these holy days all the negligences of other times. And this will be worthily done if we restrain ourselves from all vices and give ourselves up to prayer with tears, to reading, to compunction of heart and to abstinence.

"During these days, therefore, let us increase somewhat the usual burden of our service, as by private prayers and by abstinence in food and drink. Thus everyone of his own will may offer God "with joy of the Holy Spirit" (1 Thess. 1:6) something above the measure required of him. From his body, that is he may withhold some food, drink, sleep, talking and jesting; and with the joy of spiritual desire he may look forward to holy Easter.

"Let each one, however, suggest to his Abbot what it is that he wants to offer, and let it be one with his blessing and approval. For anything done without the permission of the spiritual father will be imputed to presumption and vainglory and will merit no reward. Therefore let everything be done with the Abbot's approval."

So, I hope and pray you have a great Ash Wednesday and a super Lent! I am going to spend more time with those stories from the prophets that we celebrate during this season in our Church year. There is much to learn from Jeremiah's struggles, Jonah's reluctant service, and Ezekiel's wild visions...and 40 days is simply not enough time to take it all in. Maybe Benedict had a good point about his followers needing to live in Lent.

Blessings,

Holy Thursday

Greetings,

I am very unsuccessfully reading and rereading the same article about teacher induction. It is the beginning of Triduum, my parents are driving out to spend Easter weekend with me, and I'm missing our Community celebrations of Holy Week.

Last night I attended a Tenebrae service at the parish. I had always enjoyed Fr. Mike Griffin's Tenebrae...he chanted part of the Lamentations, we joined for part of the "Jerusalem...", there was also a good balance of Isaiah's Suffering Servant and the Passion accounts as well as responses from the Psalms. It all combined to create a very solemn beginning of the Triduum. I was a bit disappointed with the service here. I've been liturgically spoiled at home and I now realize it. The reading were all from the Passion accounts with a kind of self reflection response from an unidentified author (not so bad) but all the responses were from very general chorus parts from the music missal. Not bad for a parish, actually probably enriching for the parish, but not much substance in all.

I am guessing that right now at the Monastery there is a quiet flurry of preparation. The Chapter room is being prepared for the foot washing prayer service, the dinning room is all set for our Agape Supper, the Chapel has been newly cleaned and the Peace Chapel is being reorganized for the Reservation until Holy Saturday. There have been choir practices, lector practices, and maybe even practice for the candle carrier. I have to admit; I miss it. I miss our smells and bells of Holy Week and Triduum. I also miss our quiet reflection during these days. The house is so full of prayerful expectation and joy held in check for the Easter Alleluias. I never noticed it until now...

My homesickness is balanced out with joy at my parents' arrival this afternoon! I am excited to show them around the University and my own little corner of the city. The sisters are so generous in welcoming any guests I might bring home. They are even more interested to meet my mom...she is bringing her travel massage bed per request of her daughter. I have a few sight seeing trips planned to share part of my experience with them. We'll see the Holy Hill Chapel, drive down along the lake to get a superior cup of coffee, and stop in at the Motherhouse. I may even show them where I was also considering to live; it'll make them appreciate the suburbs more.

Well, I need to return to my paper littered desk and reapply my efforts at finishing up some reading before my parents arrive.

Blessings,

Fish Fry Woes

Greetings,

The house went to the parish fish fry last night. It seemed like a good way to support the parish and also enjoy Milwaukee.

In the parish's defense, they never expected the crowd they received (event though they have held this every year for the past few). In the caterer's defense, the fish was really good.

We arrived at 5:30 and the parking lot was full! We were happy for the parish. We were even okay after we realized that the line was backed up the stairs to the doors of the parish. However, after an hour of standing in line our support was fading. They were selling soda, beer, & wine to those waiting...so a little Coke settled the nerves. Finally, we approached the front of the line, and discovered the problem. There were four folk from the catering company serving the whole meal. There were two deep fryers for all the fish fillets, chicken strips, and fries (the center of the meal).

Okay...we were given our plates of fries and fish and easily found a table. Next, the sisters wanted to choose a dessert. I declined. Actually, I stated that you couldn't pay me enough to choose a dessert from a table being run by second and third grade girls...with their long hair dangling over the table, sitting by the desserts on the table, and eating the desserts as they hollered at folk to come over and take one. NO! Blech!

The people were kind and the fish was good...but the line clumped, the wait was too long, and the use of unsupervised kiddos was just not right. I thought I was the only one of our group that was trying to just enjoy the fish. Then Linda smirked, "I think a few sisters could stream line this thing." I confessed that the teacher/nun/former Turkey dinner worker in me wanted to jot down a few notes of concerns. Linda reminded me that I should make recommendations where I don't want to volunteer. So, I suggested we finish the fish and get home to play some rummikube.

Alas, the fish fry woes.

Women of Christ

Greetings,

Yesterday, I went to the "Women of Christ" conference. This was the first gathering of what they hope will become an annual event...over 2,400 women registered for the day. Its aim was to offer spiritual development and time away for the women of the diocese. There were a few religious sprinkled in the crowd, but the day was really offered for the lay-women. I was amazed at the age range of attendees, grandmas through grandchildren.

The speakers were pretty good. They had four main speakers to address different aspects of women's lives: prayer and healing, the Blessed Virgin, women & men, and women and children. Okay...I was surprized so hold on...Mother Assumpta of the Dominican Sisters of Mary Mother of the Eucharist spoke about the Blessed Virgin in women's lives. It was good. Her script was a "letter" from Mary to the women, and its focus was sharing how her life connects with the expereinces of women today. For example, Mary understands loss and pain, she lost her community's respect, her husband, her son, and she can understand and walk with women who are now struggling with loss and pain. It was an interesting connection for the women. I was watching the folk around me and they were listening and following M. Assumpta's speech...she knows an audience and how to reach that audience.

Another speaker I enjoyed was Dr. Ray. He is a psych and counselor who has a talk show on alot of Catholic radio shows. Great, I thought (sarcasm). He was hiliarious! He has a large family that his wife and he built through adoption...and he used stories from their own successes and failures to encourage the women with families. I wished that my two sisters had been there to hear his stories and hope for mothers who end up carrying a heavy burden in many families. His advice and stories boiled down to two statements: first, don't let "experts" tell you how a family should be, and second, do what you believe to be good and don't worry about the psychologically "right", do what is good. I thought that was pretty good advice.

Overall, it was a pretty good way to celebrate Lent. I probably won't go next year; it really is designed for lay women who are single, married, or with families. But I enjoyed the gathering and hearing the speakers.

Blessings,