The availability of possible ministry positions in education has narrowed greatly since returning home from my travels about Italy and Switzerland. While I was very hopeful when writing letters and calling schools during March, April, and May, the search in July and maybe even August has me loosing heart at times. My prayer up to this point has been to "seek God's will"; however, I changed my prayer to a more simple and much more challenging focus: "I will trust in God." This is very difficult when all seems to be going wrong and life is being lived in the great unknown of God's timeline.
I returned to Julian of Norwich's "Revelation of Love" to remind myself of God's great care and attention to each and everyone of us. My favorite quote comes from her Thirteenth Showing in chapter 31. "I may make all things well; I can make all things well, and I will make all things well, and I shall make all things well; and you shall see for yourself that all manner of things shall be well." I have always found great comfort in God's assurance that He is a part of all that is occurring in my life and in the lives of those I love. However, it is the following quote from chapter 32, explaining part of her understanding of the quote I just noticed today and it has helped me to reaffirm my trust in God.
"One was this: that He wishes us to know that not only does He take heed of noble things and the greatest, but He also attends to the little and small, to low and simple, as much to one as to the other. This is His meaning when he said, "All manner of things shall be well"; for He wants us to know that the least thing will not be forgotten.
"Another understanding is this: that there are evil deeds done that we know of, when such great harm is taken that it seems to us that it were impossible that they should ever come to a good end. And we look upon this with sorrow and mourning, so that we are unable to rest in the blessed contemplation of God as we ought. And the cause is that the working of our reason here and now is blind, so low and simple that we cannot know the high, marvelous wisdom, the might and goodness of the blessed Trinity. This is His meaning when He says, "You shall see for yourself that all manner of things shall be well," as if He had said, "Take heed now in faith and trust, and at the last end you will see it truly in the fullness of joy."
I may not see the blessings of this time now, but I shall if I keep my faith and trust in God and grow in the compassion and care of my Benedictine community. For I can not see the long design or understand the future to come, but I will continue to trust that God is in the details of my life.